


When the night's been rough and lonely/ Come home to me/ Come home to me

by Promsie



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Light Angst
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-20
Updated: 2018-03-20
Packaged: 2019-04-04 17:32:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 13,667
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14025186
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Promsie/pseuds/Promsie
Summary: When Alex and Sam get closer, Reign decides she has some say in the matter. Around 3x11-3x13.





	1. Chapter 1

* * *

 

The last week had been quieter than usual in National City. Since Reign had made her announcement in the CatCo office most criminals seemed to stay clear of the city and even the self-proclaimed Bringer of Justice had been laying it uncharacteristically low. Although, Alex Danvers wished nothing more than to relax at home in a steaming hot bath or to have a Girl’s Night at Lena’s place, here she was at the DEO working through mountains of paperwork. It was frustrating, and tiring being chained to this desk when she could be out there, doing something. Or doing nothing. But here she had too much space and too much time to think. This morning everyone had begged J’onn to call work off, but their boss had reminded them that only because the whole city was not in mortal danger for a change and no one in a coma they still had a job to do. Outside of the small office Alex had retreated to, people were bustling around with stacks of files in their arms, medical supplies were being hustled back and forth and Winn was being chastised for geeking out over the new gun models that came in today. Alex let out a sigh and thanked Rao for this mundane day. The desk work was killing her, but she needed a break. The last months had been horrible for several reasons. Kara had been depressed ever since Mon El had to leave Earth and him coming back as a married man had not helped either. Lena had to constantly grapple with Morgan Edge while still trying to proof herself to the public, which had gotten to the point of being grotesque, in Alex’ opinion.

And the redhead herself was still trying to come to terms with the end of her relationship with Maggie. It had been one of the hardest decisions in her life and although Kara had helped her through the worst part, she was far from being ok. On top of that a new villain with a God complex had appeared that had her very own interpretation of the word ‘justice’ and she loved it to let anybody in on that. Alex shook her head as images of a comatose Kara resurfaced in her mind and again she had to admit to herself how terrified she was of Reign. But Reign had been off the radar for three days and everybody took the chance to breathe a sigh of relief. Even Kara had smiled more in the last 72 hours than in the last three months and Alex wondered if it was because she finally moved on from Mon El or because she seemed to spend even more time with a certain CEO, or both. Sometimes she wished her little sister and the younger Luthor would finally realize their feelings for each other but seeing them blatantly flirt with each other and then being completely oblivious about it had its perks, too. The only thing that was still able to dampen all their moods was that they hadn’t gotten any closer to figuring out the cause of Sam’s blackouts. Alex had been as surprised as everybody else when Lena had bought CatCo and left L-Corp in the hands of someone else, though, by now she thought the Luthor had made a brilliant decision. That Samantha Arias and her teenage daughter Ruby had entered their lives had been one of the few good things in the past six months.

Sam was an incredible tough, intelligent woman and a loving single mother and had already made herself a home in Kara’s and Lena’s hearts. She hadn’t been as close to her as the other two women until lately but that had changed when Reign had thought it was a good idea to break Alex’ leg. Babysitting Ruby had been more fun than she expected, although, one could hardly talk about ‘babysitting’ the most responsible teenager Alex had ever met. Still, the girl was like a magnet for trouble. The redhead had actually been relieved when Sam had walked through her front door that evening and her daughter was still alive. Suddenly, she remembered how scared Sam had sounded that night when she confided in Alex about her blackouts. The young mother might have a soft side, but she was very well able to stand her ground in critical situations, therefore, the fear Alex had seen in her amber eyes had her worried more than she liked. The bad things seemed to seep into all their lives like a foul poison into a river. Some mornings she didn’t even knew which problem she should face first and most often they all came crashing down on them at once. The quiet, joyful moments she could catch here and there were even more precious now. And lately Alex found herself catching them more and more around the two Arias women. But then Sam had told her about her fears and worries and even these small moments became less enjoyable. It felt good to be of help, though, but that the NMR images showed nothing was not as unproblematic as she had told Sam. On the one hand it was not a tumor but on the other hand a tumor was something that could be treated at least.

With a couple of clicks Alex had the images in front of her again on her computer screen. For the hundredth time she studied the light blue windings and surrounding darker and lighter areas but just like all the times before she saw nothing, and it didn’t take long before the different blue hues ran into one another. She had spent endless sleepless nights in front of her laptop, with her reading glasses and a whiskey in hand, but she had found nothing. At least in those nights she had not been drinking to forget how empty her apartment was or how cold her bed. Groaning she began to massage her temple. So far, they had send the scans to three different neurologists, all experts in their field, but two had not spotted anything unusual either and Alex doubted that she would get any different news from the third. The results from the blood tests were long in coming, too. Pinching her eyes shut Alex let her mind wander aimlessly. She wanted desperately to help her friend not only for Sam’s sake but also for Ruby’s. Alex had taken an instant liking to the smart girl, which had only intensified while she had ‘babysat’ her. She remembered what she had said to Kara about being a mother, the experiences she feared to miss out on and she promptly imagined Ruby in a beautiful prom dress or going off to some prestigious college. In the next moment a lump formed in her throat when she remembered that Ruby was not her daughter and that she would most likely see none of the scenes she just fantasized about come true. She shook her head and tried to focus on the NMR images again. She had vowed to herself that she would do anything, so Sam could have the experiences she just imagined. She had promised her. And a Danvers always kept their promise.

Instead of looking at the scans, though, Alex stared into thin air and thought about the CFO again. How nervous she had been before the scan and how much she disliked needles and how her whole face had lit up at the sight of a simple lollipop. Alex’ heart had stuttered momentarily in her chest and now she buried her head in hands. Sam was an attractive woman and Alex could not deny that despite everything that had been going on, her step had been a bit lighter, her mood a bit better and her smile a bit more genuine whenever she knew that she would see the CFO. She let out another frustrated groan when she remembered how she had cried herself to sleep after she had sent Maggie’s passport away. She was by no means over her ex, that could take another couple of months or even longer but telling herself that she was not drawn to Sam was pointless. Supergirl’s voice pulled her out of her dark thoughts: “Hey, Alex I’m done with patrolling. Seems like Reign is taking another day off.”

With a start the agent set bolt upright in her chair and knocked a couple of files off her desk: “Are you ok?” Supergirl asked and knelt down to pick up the papers. “Yeah...What?” Alex stuttered, “I said everything’s quiet outside. What were you thinking about?” “Nothing”, Alex waved her hand, “I’m good. You got any plans later?” Kara nodded and put the files on the desk: “Yeah. Lena asked me to come over. She wanted to celebrate the, quote, _most unspectacular week of the year so far_. You and Sam are invited, too.” Alex chuckled: “So it’s a Girl’s Night”, Supergirl shrugged, “See you at eight”. Alex watched Supergirl go with a smile on her face and put a hand through her hair. Getting all this paperwork done would be quite the task if she constantly had to think about Sam’s radiant smile.

* * *

 

 

Girl’s Night came and passed without any incidents, although, Alex had to keep herself from staring at times. She had seen the different sides of Sam: the tough, hot business woman, the gentle mother, the scared patient. But seeing her unwind, drinking wine in an oversized sweater and laughing about something trivial was rare and special. Going home to her empty apartment after such nights was especially awful. The vacant space was like a smack in her face to remember her of the loneliness she felt, of the price she had paid to maybe one day get what Sam had with Ruby. That’s why Alex was happy when the first criminals and low-lives came out of their holes again, so she could kick some ass. On Monday they had to arrest a drunken nudist alien with impressive goat horns who tried to win a battle of _Who-is-Stronger_ against trucks on a highway, on Wednesday they had to dissolve an illegal poker night, which escalated because every player was a psychic trying to outsmart their fellow gamblers and today they had another in-run with Reign who dumped several members of a drug ring in the middle of the CatCo office. Alex had been there to discuss a new security system with Lena, but Reign had completely ignored her. The DEO agent hadn’t tried anything either because of the civilians and, if she was honest, she was no match for the Worldkiller. And she was just out of her cast, too. Thankfully, all of her bones stayed intact this time but her own helplessness in regard to Reign frustrated Alex more and more. If it would come down to it, she would not be able to protect any of the people she cared about.

She really needed to let off some steam and immediately agreed when Kara told her she wanted to check out the opening party of a new alien club. The club was located near Alex’ apartment and after Kara picked her up the two sisters walked the short way. They talked about the nonsense Reign had spouted again and how Lena had been brave enough to tell her to use another newspaper for her purposes and dump her trash somewhere else in the future. Kara complained that she sometimes thought Lena put herself in dangerous situations on purpose just, so she would be saved by Supergirl and Alex teased her that she knew Kara secretly liked to save the CEO. They were passing a fancy restaurant and Alex was still making fun of her sister when Kara suddenly shouted: “Alex, watch out!”, but it was too late, and she ran straight into someone.

The other person let out a surprised yelp as they stumbled a couple of steps before Alex grabbed their waist and steadied them both: “I’m so sorry. I really should have watched where I’m go...”, she began to apologize but the last of her words were lost when she realized whose waist she was holding on.

“Lena! What a surprise”, she heard Kara say excitedly behind her, but she was too lost in the golden oak eyes in front of her, glowing softly in the warm light of a street lamp, with wide black pupils. “Kara, how nice. What are you two doing here?”, Lena asked.

Alex still could not move even though their position was slightly awkward, both of them caught in the middle of falling over backwards, tilted in a dangerous angle and Alex still holding onto Sam’s waist. Alex’ heart was beating faster, and she had to resist the urge to pull the other woman closer. Sam’s weight felt right in her arms and the places where they touched grew hot. Alex caught a whiff of the CFO’s perfume, something fresh and flowery and it was intoxicating. Eventually, Sam cleared her throat and broke their eye contact: “I think you can let go of me, now.”

Alex snapped out of it and snatched her hands back as if she had been burned: “Of course. Sorry.” Kara and Lena eyed them curiously while Alex shoved her hands into the back pockets of her black jeans and Sam nervously rubbed her arm: “So, where are you headed again?” Lena asked.

“We’re going to a club, it’s called _Native_ and it’s opening tonight”, Kara rushed out, “And you know the best? It’s an alien club...” Alex threw a panicked stare into Kara’s direction and thankfully the alien caught on before she almost prattled away, “...and that’s cool because I’m a reporter and I report stuff like that, new possible alien hot spot in National City”, Kara stuttered, and Alex rolled her eyes.

“That sounds pretty interesting”, Lena said and turned to Alex and Sam, “What do you say, Sam? Our business dinner was a success and I think we deserved a little party.” Internally Alex could scream. How could she go to a party with Lena and especially Sam when she just made a fool of herself? Kara was beaming at them and Lena looked at Sam eagerly.

Maybe these two should just go alone, Alex thought but then Sam answered: “You know what, I would really like to, but I should probably go home. Ruby is waiting,” then she gestured towards her clothes, “And I don’t think I’m wearing the right thing.” Kara already pouted, Alex almost let out a sigh of relief, but Lena shook her head: “Nonsense”, she fished her phone out of her bag and hit a speed-dial button, “I’m calling to tell the babysitter she needs to stay longer, and you look amazing.”

When someone picked up on the other end Lena walked a few steps away ignoring Sam’s protest. Alex used the time to check Sam’s outfit out. She immediately knew that the other woman would look amazing on the dance floor. She wore a business blazer but underneath a loose, sleeveless blouse, high and light jeans and a pair of moderately high heels. Alex’ heart fluttered, and she quickly looked away when Sam caught her staring. Thankfully, Lena returned but to Alex’ dismay she had a big grin plastered on her face and said: “Everything is sorted out and Ruby practically begged me to take you to an alien club. She wants to know every detail afterwards.” Kara clapped her hands: “Great guys, let’s go then”, but Sam protested, “What’s with my outfit, though? I didn’t exactly plan to wear it to a party.”

Lena stepped up to Sam and held her hand out: “Give me your blazer”, “What? Why?”, Sam asked confused, “Just do it”, Lena said and when she had the blazer draped above her arm she undid Sam’s hair that had been put up into a neat bun and tussled it a bit, “There you go. You look stunning, honey”, then she turned around to Kara, “Is the club far from here? Should I call my driver?” Kara skipped the short distance towards her friend and quickly pulled her along: “Not at all. We can walk from here, its super close.” Sam shot Alex a bewildered glance: “I don’t get a say in this, I guess”, and, although Alex was still nervous that the woman she apparently had a thing for was going to the same party as she was now, she grinned and said, “Nope. Doesn’t seem so.”

* * *

 

 

The _Native_ turned out to be an old wine cellar that stretched for half the block beneath the other houses. On street level it had been a small bar with an adjacent shop and Alex remembered it to be quite the nice place. But then the owner went bankrupt, everything closed down and had stayed closed for over a year. Now an impressive line had built in front of the entrance door that was guarded by two grim-looking bouncers and a massive neon sign glowed above the doorframe in blinding pink and blue. Alex spotted several humans and aliens standing in line chatting, smoking and some were already drinking. She saw two Coluans a few steps away, a K’hund flexing his muscles in front of several swooning women and further to the front a small flame erupted people clapped, and Alex knew that must have been an Infernian.

Due to their work Alex and Kara were used to seeing aliens but Sam and Lena weren’t and while Lena pestered Kara with questions Sam stared at them in mute wonder: “Two years ago this wouldn’t have been possible”, Alex smiled, proud of what Supergirl, the president and the DEO had managed against all odds.

Sam looked at her with wide eyes: “It’s amazing. I have never seen so many aliens in one place”, Alex nodded her head. If only she knew, that she was friends with one. “Most of them are harmless, don’t worry.”

Sam let out a sound of disbelief and shoved the redhead slightly: “Most of them? Is that supposed to calm me?” Alex chuckled: “No really you don’t have to worry. They just want to be left alone, have a good time and anyway you have me to protect you in any case of trouble.”

Before she realized, what she said the words were out of her mouth and she felt her cheeks grow hot. When she heard a soft laugh, though, she turned to the woman beside her: “I will take you up on that”, Sam smiled at her so wide that the tiny wrinkles around her eyes showed and Alex had a hard time keeping herself from gaping, “Agent Danvers”, the brunette added with a wink and closed up to Kara and Lena in front of them.

The DEO agent stood dumbfounded on the pavement until the people behind her in line got impatient. Maybe. Just maybe there was the fleeting chance that Sam felt the same pull between them that Alex did.

The next moment someone shouted Kara’s name and the four women were waved to the beginning of the line. One of the bouncers was Roger an alien that belonged to a race consisting almost entirely out of muscles, but they had ugly bat-like faces and over proportionally hair growth. Despite his intimidating appearance Roger was an easy and open guy. Kara was friends with him ever since she beat him in arm wrestling a few weeks ago in the alien bar. Kara and Roger chatted shortly before he ushered them inside with a sheepish grin that exposed his pointy teeth. The ex-bar had been rebuilt into one large garderobe, taking up the whole floor. Left and right humans and aliens accepted coats and showed the party guests the way to a wide double staircase that led to the cellar. Hot air was waving up to them and Alex felt the floor fibrate beneath her shoes. Oh boy, when was the last time she had been to a place like this? She mentally shook herself as she shrugged out of her leather jacket. She was going to enjoy this night, have some fun before hell broke loose again in National City and, most importantly, she would not behave like a fool again. She handed her jacket to a petite female alien with skin in the color of Iris petals and jet-black hair: “Have fun in the _Native_ and don’t forget your jacket when you resurface”, the woman winked at her and handed Alex the stub for her coat. When she retreated her hand she briefly curled her fingers around Alex’ wrist before letting go of her: “Thanks...I guess”, Alex mumbled.

When she turned around to search for her sister and her friends she spotted Sam a few feet away who sent a murderous glare her way and looked ready to tear her expensive blazer in two. But then another staff member of the club touched Sam’s arm lightly and said something and the brunette jumped slightly. Alex frowned but got sidetracked when Kara threw her arms around her sister and dragged her towards the staircase. Although the club had opened barely an hour ago, it was already packed with people. The air was thick and humid and on the different dance-floors ground and moved the masses. Alex was suddenly filled with a pleasant, buzzing energy and couldn’t wait to join them. But before she could set a foot on one of the dance-floors Kara dragged them all to a small table in a somewhat secluded corner. It was definitely too small for four people, but Kara ordered them all to sit and that they had to drink something before dancing. Then she sped away again. Alex and Sam sat next to each other and the place was so cramped that their thighs were brushing up. Alex immediately stiffened, and her first instinct was to move her leg away. But that could be both very obvious and possibly rude and she didn’t want to give Sam either impression, so she gulped, let her thigh where it was and tried not to think too much about the warmth that began to spread through her whole body or the fact that the CFO didn’t move either. Faster than should have been possible with this amount of people around Kara returned with an arm full of drinks.

In their little corner it was actually possible to understand each other, and the four women quickly fell into pleasant conversation. Lena told them how awkward things had gotten between her and James since their kiss and how she wished she had never done it. Out of the corner of her eye Alex caught Kara and how she tried to hide a lovesick smile behind her tiny cocktail umbrella and all the other things her glass was decorated with. Alex hid her grin behind her beer. And almost spit when Sam told everyone how Ruby couldn’t stop gushing about how tough and cool Alex was: “Oh, you have a fan, Agent Danvers”, Lena purred across them and Alex scoffed,

“Yeah, I really like Ruby but she’s totally overestimating my toughness.” Sam turned to her and propped her head on her hand. She tilted it slightly and had a mischievous glint in her eyes: “Well, Alex. Maybe I have to agree with my daughter.” Kara and Lena were laughing at her and she hoped that the dim lights in the club would hide the spreading blush on her cheeks. She was saved when suddenly the pumping music around them changed and people began to jeer around them.

The next second Kara was falling in with them and was out of her chair already singing along to _The Sweet Escape._ Excited Kara grabbed Lena’s wrist and continued belting out the lyrics while slowly moving the two towards the dance-floor.

Alex laughed at her sister and turned back around to Sam: “We need to get on that dance-floor. Right now. That’s my jam”, the other woman grinned at her and Alex felt her heart surge, “Lead the way then.” Then Alex thought, fuck it, and took Sam’s hand and followed her sister. Sam’s hand was rougher than she had expected but it felt incredibly good nonetheless. It fit perfectly into her own and that caused a soft smile to appear on Alex’ face.

Nothing had seemed to fit in her life for too long. The redhead quickly found her sister among the many people and the next couple of hours the four had a blast dancing away to old Rap and R’n’B songs and some Pop-classics. Alex knew that Kara made quite the good figure on the dance-floor, but Lena had the ability to make everyone gravitate towards her like she was a blazing light to a swarm of moths. Alex shook her head, should Kara ward off any unwanted attention. And while Lena knew exactly which effect she had, Sam was completely lost in the music. No question, the brunette’s movements already made Alex’ mouth go dry, but she had this extraordinary air of total abandonment about her that turned every person into an amazing dancer. Who knew when she had a night like this the last time. Probably in high school. Alex was mesmerized by her movements and almost forgot to keep dancing herself. She had lost count of how many rounds they had had until now, but she felt the familiar buzz of alcohol in her head and how she noticeably loosened up. But that also meant that her inhibition level was sinking lower and lower and the urge to put her hands on Sam’s swaying hips stronger and stronger. To run her fingers under Sam’s blouse and over hot, taught flesh and to place a trail of wet kisses along her exposed neck. Get it together Danvers, she scolded herself. But getting it together was getting harder and harder because gradually the atmosphere in the club changed. The bass got more intense, the floor even fuller and bodies even closer.

Kara and Lena had long since vanished and Alex hoped that whatever they were doing they wouldn’t regret it in the morning. Sam, though, didn’t look like she was going anywhere soon, and the DEO agent loved every second of it. By now they were almost toe to toe and the looks Sam was giving her were smoldering and made her weak in the knees. Out of nowhere, there was hectic movement around them and several people were stumbling and in the next moment Sam was pushed forward, and Alex had barely time to catch her. Again. Turned out that one of the barkeepers went around collecting empty bottles and glasses in an empty beer crate. Unfortunately, he was an idiot and the beer crate continuously collided with people’s thighs and backs and he left a real swathe behind him. There was a lot of grumbling around them but then someone shouted: “Free drinks for everyone!”, there was general cheering and the party continued. “Hey, you alright?”, Alex asked and studied Sam for any signs of an injury.

One of her hands rested on Sam’s hip and the other between her shoulder blades: “I’m alright”, Sam answered in a deep and husky voice that send shivers down the redhead’s spine, “Thanks.” But after the commotion had died down Sam didn’t step out of Alex’ personal space, instead she put her arms around the agent’s shoulders and began to sway again: “Okay”, Alex nodded and fell in tune with her. A thick dancehall bass made the ground shake and Alex felt sweat dripping down her back and Sam’s back didn’t feel any different beneath her fingertips. For a fleeting moment she wondered how she ended up in this situation and how important it was to not let this night end in a disaster. Although Sam had flirted with her the whole evening and never showed any interest in anyone else, Alex didn’t want to jump to false conclusions. The CFO of L-Corp had never mentioned any interest in women and Alex still remembered the last time she told a woman about her feelings. Maggie had reciprocated her feelings in the end but initially it had felt like a rejection and Alex was pretty sure she could not handle something like that currently. Apart from that she didn’t even know if she had any feelings for Sam or was simply immensely attracted to her. On top of it all, though, she was drunk and horny and that one, meaningless night with Sara Lance had been weeks ago. Right now, she only knew that she wanted Sam and that she wouldn’t mind if it was right here and now. So, she drew Sam closer until their bodies were flush against each other and their hips moved in perfect union.

Heat was pooling between the redhead’s legs and she knew she was probably panting against Sam’s ear. The brunette, though, tightened her grip on Alex by burying her long fingers in red locks. Alex couldn’t take this any longer, she felt every fiber in her body being stretched to the breaking point and Sam’s full-blown pupils were hypnotizing her. She put a little distance between them, slid one hand finally beneath Sam’s blouse and with the other she cupped her cheek. The redhead swore that the brunette stopped breathing when she stroked her thump over Sam’s bottom lip. Her eyes jumped between Alex’ eyes and her lips and Alex heard the blood rush in her ears. In the exact same moment that Alex wanted to crash their lips together someone crashed their elbow in the back of her head, stars exploded before her eyes and she hit her forehead on Sam’s shoulder: “Oh my God, Alex! Are you ok?”, Sam shouted over the music, but Alex could only groan in pain.

Whoever had hit her, had an elbow that felt like a crowbar. Sam grabbed her shoulders and looked at her full of concern: “Just give me a second”, the DEO agent winced and felt the back of her head for any blood. Thankfully there was nothing on her fingertips when she looked at them. Together the pair made their way through the dancing crowd until they reached a couple of low lounge chairs. Alex collapsed into one of them and Sam right next to her. She had let go of the redhead’s shoulders and held one of her hands now: “Are you sure, you’re ok? What even happened?”

Apart from me trying to kiss you, Alex thought annoyed: “Probably just a drunk ogre-giant alien or something like that”, Alex grunted.

Sam stared at her in shock before her expression relaxed: “That was a joke”, Alex tried to grin, “That was a joke.” Sam repeated and shook her head and looked at her with an amused smile: “Good to see that you still think you’re funny. Can’t be that serious then”, she squeezed Alex’ hand and added, “Maybe you get a lollipop.”

Alex’ grin widened at their private joke and so they sat silently admits the still blasting music for a couple of moments smiling stupidly at each other. It didn’t seem like the brunette wanted to talk about their almost-kiss and Alex was fine with it. Maybe they should talk about it when they were both sober again, or in a couple of days, or never, but definitely not now. So, she enjoyed their calm bubble admits the ongoing party. She noticed that Sam was still holding her hand and the weight of it between Alex’ fingers was warm and comforting.

Suddenly, Lena appeared at their table, though, a completely wasted Kara in tow: “Here you are, thank God I found you”, she whined, “I have never seen your sister like this she’s a total goner”.

Sam got up and put one of Kara’s arms over her shoulder while Lena did the same on her other side. “Let’s get out of here then”, Alex sighed. It was the very early hours of the morning when she finally fell into her bed and for the first time in months she didn’t care that it was empty.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Reign comes back from her little break and wreaks havoc in National City.

* * *

 

After the week-long break Reign had given them, she was back with full force the very next day after the girls’ night out. The DEO, Alex and Supergirl had their hands full with chasing the Worldkiller through the whole city. But instead of her usual course of action to bring criminals and sinners to justice, she was aimlessly wreaking havoc wherever she appeared. She made two trains collide underground, attacked a hospital and almost made a bridge collapse if it not had been for Supergirl and all that in the course of one really bad Friday. Each time the whole field staff of the DEO had to move out and Alex was in first line. Over the course of the weekend none of them got the chance to take a breath of relief and they were all pretty exhausted. “Seriously what is it with her all of a sudden?”, Supergirl grunted the following Tuesday while lifting a steel beam back into place that had almost squished Alex, “Someone spit in her coffee?”, Supergirl asked before flying towards another part of the building.

Alex could think of no one who could be stupid enough to do something like that but apparently Supergirl had been right. None of Reign’s actions made sense and that was being said in comparison to the stuff she normally did. The only thing that was the same each instance was that Reign made sure the whole DEO had to disengage. On Wednesday Supergirl had to save Alex out of a burning building and on Thursday out of the L-Corp building that had been under attack for the god-knew-how-manieth time. When Supergirl came back from making sure Lena was ok she asked curiously: “Alex, I get the feeling she thinks you spit in her coffee”,

Alex scoffed and shook debris out of her hair, “Why that?” Supergirl gave her an _are-you-kidding-me_ look,

“This was the fourth or fifth time I had to drag you out of a building this week.” Supergirl’s stare intensified, “That’s a new record even for you.”

Alex looked doubtfully at the heroine: “What should I have done to her that she wants to kill me this badly?”

But now that Alex thought about it, she began to suspect something, too. Every time she was getting to a new nightmarish scene Reign stopped whatever she was doing and scanned the crowd, as if she was looking for someone. Today Alex had the qualms that this someone was her. Currently she hid behind a car with Vasquez and watched as Supergirl and Reign fought another unbalanced fight in mid-air. The redhead peeked over one of the tires and witnessed how Supergirl crashed into a nearby Starbucks. But instead of going afterwards Reign looked straight at her and a cold shiver ran down the agent’s spine.

“Shit, Vasquez. Move”, Alex screamed, gripped her friend’s arm and then the two of them were running for their lives,

“What did you do, Danvers?” Vasquez shouted at her over the exploding car they had just hid behind.

“As if I would know!” Alex answered annoyed. The next second the duo came to a slithering halt when Reign landed in front of them.

She pointed a finger at Alex: “You!” but then Supergirl barreled into her and Vasquez and Alex hauled ass.

* * *

 

 

After a long argument with Supergirl and J’onn, Alex finally stepped into her apartment that evening. Both of them had insisted that the older Danvers would not be alone as long as they tried to figure out why Reign was after her. But the redhead felt drained after days and days without being able to catch a breath and since Lena was too exhausted for Girls’ Night too and no one could reach Sam she had simply gone home. The four of them had barely seen each other since the Worldkiller ended her little hiatus and Alex and Sam had not had one private moment since the party. But for her this was not bad at all. As much as she wanted to spend the whole day dreaming about the CFO, she had to think about a million other things. And apparently now she had to hide from a psychopathic super-villain, too. With a long sigh Alex closed the door behind her and momentarily shivered in a chilly breeze. Maybe she had forgotten to close a window this morning? She dumped her keys and jacket and stepped further into the room. Alex was torn between wanting to talk about what had happened with Sam and just letting it be. She was not yet over Maggie and Sam might have a serious neurological disease she had to worry about. Yet, here she was thinking about Sam’s patented, stern mom-gaze again. She thought it was more cute than threatening and how affectionate she was with Ruby and how little she deserved all of this. Alex was moving towards the window façade of her apartment when she suddenly heard glass crunching beneath the sole of her right shoe: “What the…?” she mumbled.

In the blink of an eye someone grabbed her from behind and hurled her against a nearby wall. All air was knocked out of the agent’s lungs when a rigid arm pressed against her throat and lifted her just enough off the floor that the tips of her shoes could not reach it. Reign’s fiery red eyes stared into her own and Alex gasped: “I finally found you”, the villain said in her eerie distorted voice.

“Good for you”, the redhead coughed, “but why were you looking for me in the first place?”

Instead of clawing at the arm trapping her, she swung a punch at Reign’s face. And instantly regretted it. Reign had not a scratch, but Alex probably just broke her hand. The agent’s thoughts were reeling. If she could get Reign to take her arm off her throat, she could call Supergirl and maybe had a chance to survive this.

Reign tilted her head and narrowed her eyes: “There is a human inside of me. She is interfering with my mission. She needs to be silenced.”

Alex felt herself getting light-headed. This was not good. So not good. She kept struggling against Reign’s iron grip, but it was no use: “And what does that have to do with me?” 

Apparently, that was not something the Worldkiller liked to talk about because the next moment she flung Alex into the counter in her kitchen. Wood splintered along with several of the agent’s ribs. Alex groaned in pain while Reign stood above her: “She uses you to fight against me. You make her stronger”, the villain hissed, “That needs to stop.”

What the fuck have I gotten myself into, Alex cursed as she saw how Reign lifted one of her legs, ready to smash her fragile human thorax with it. Right before the boot connected with her chest Alex rolled to the side. The impact left a crater in the kitchen floor. She wanted to scream for help, but Reign was way too fast for her and sent her flying into a cupboard. Bits and shards of porcelain rained down on Alex as she tried to suck air into her lungs. Which human could the Worldkiller be talking about? She wasn’t close to that many people right now. Reign kicked her in the abdomen and Alex was sure she blacked out for a second before she landed on her back: “She is fighting right now,” Reign said to her looking completely unfazed, “But this will stop once you are dead.”

She put one of her boots on Alex’ throat and began to press down: “This will break her.” Reign sneered, and Alex lost all hope. Now she really wished that she had just kissed Sam. She tried to pry Reign’s leg away, to move, if only just an inch, or to get air into her lungs, any at all.

But Reign was unrelenting and merciless: “You will no longer be in the way of my mission.” She pressed down harder, “I will bring justice to this world and no one will stop me.” Blood was rushing in Alex’ ears and she barely heard a thing. Her vision began to fade, and her head felt ready to explode. Then out of nowhere she had one final idea. One last straw of hope. In a single, swift motion she drew her second gun out of the hidden holster strapped to her calve. It was filled to the brim with kryptonite bullets and she had exactly one shot. Alex stared Reign right in the eyes and fired. And missed. With a loud crack Reign’s mask splintered and slid from her face. Alex’ heart stopped beating as disoriented amber eyes stared into her own: “Alex?” Sam’s voice was so fragile and tiny, “Sam...what...you?” Alex could not think clearly anymore.

She must have hallucinated, so desperate to see the other woman’s face one more time. This was impossible, not her, anyone but her. Sam, no, Reign still had her boot on the agent’s throat and Alex senses were leaving her: “Oh my God...Oh my God...did I...?” Sam stuttered, tears streaming down her face.

She flinched away from Alex and the redhead greedily gulped down as much air as she could. Sam had turned her back to her and sobbed: “Sam...hey...it’s ok. I’m ok.” Alex rattled. Her throat was burning. and her ribcage felt like being pierced by a bed of nails but she barely registered anything over the shock of the revelation. She could faint on the spot, but she needed to make sure that Sam knew that this wasn’t her fault. That she wasn’t guilty of any of this. There had to be another explanation: “Sam?” she whispered. But Sam was gone again and Reign stared at her with searing red eyes, ready to finally kill her: ”Enough!” she bellowed, “This ends now!” Sam’s beautiful face contorted by Reign’s anger and hatred was the last thing Alex saw before she hit the floor.

* * *

 

 

 For several days after the attack, Alex flittered in and out of consciousness. When she woke up the first time the pain was almost unbearable, and she could only see on one eye. But it was enough to make out Kara’s tear-streaked face and how relieved she looked. Each time she woke up another face greeted her: J’onn, Winn, James and even Mon El held vigil at her bedside and Kara was with her as much as she could. Through the haze of the pain and the painkillers she could barely remember what had happened. She had come home, and Reign had been there to kill her. But that was it. She had no recollection of why she survived or how she got to the DEO. After four days the Carlen’s tube was removed, and Alex was allowed to breath on her own again and Kara wouldn’t stop hugging her for a solid thirty minutes.

“I thought you were dead,” she sobbed into Alex’ shoulder, “I thought she had killed you.”

It would certainly not have taken much more but Alex did not tell Kara that: “How did you find me?” she rasped.

Her throat was still hoarse, and everybody forbid her to talk. Kara snuffled: “Someone called my name in the middle of the night. It was so quiet I barely heard it but it came from your apartment complex”, she took one of her sister’s hands, “and since we all thought that Reign was after you I flew there as fast as I could but”, her voice broke and fresh tears stood in her eyes, “I was too late, Alex. I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry. You looked dead. I thought you were dead.”

The redhead didn’t want to imagine what she must have looked like, a bloody lifeless pulp on the floor of a trashed apartment. She would have thought she was dead, too.

“I’m ok, Kara. I’m right here.” Alex learned that Reign had broken several of her ribs, her right wrist, that she had a mild concussion, several superficial cuts and a bad contusion of her larynx. She would not be on active duty for weeks and had to crash at Kara’s place until her apartment would be fixed. Maybe she could use that time to further research Sam’s blackouts. Suddenly, Alex felt an intense longing to see the other woman: “How is the situation outside?” she asked instead.

Kara blew her nose: “Not so good, actually. I don’t know why but Reign seems different,” she furrowed her brows, “Somehow, she is even more confident. And we are nowhere nearer to take her down.” But then Kara wiped her tears away and gave her sister a small smile: “You have a visitor by the way.”

Alex looked at her puzzled: “She would not stop to argue with me until she knew where you were. She was really scary”, Kara said, “She thinks this is some super-secret FBI building, though.”

Then she got up and opened the door to Alex’ small patient room. Sam stood in the doorframe, with big hopeful eyes, nervously rubbing her hands against each other. “I’ll give you two some time”, Kara said and left them alone. Tears were already welling up in Sam’s eyes and she tried to stifle a sob behind her hand, but she wouldn’t move: “You know, you can come in,” Alex whispered unable to talk any louder, yet.

Sam nodded and was by her side in an instant. She sat in Kara’s vacant chair and let her tears fall: “Kara told me what happened,” Sam sobbed, “And she said it was bad...but...oh Alex.” Looking at Sam was almost worse than the pain in her body. She looked distressed, had dark circles beneath her eyes and the tears wouldn’t stop falling. Alex wished she could take her pain away: “Do I look that awful?” she asked in a light tone and Sam gave her a weak smile: “Have you seen yourself? You look horrible.”

Alex feigned being hurt: “You know how to compliment a lady, don’t you?” This earned her a genuine timid smile and the agent’s heart beat a little bit stronger in her chest: “Still joking, that is good.” Sam laughed, and Alex smiled at her but then the brunette took Alex’ hands in hers and pressed them against her forehead: “I’m so glad you are ok,” she said, and the redhead mumbled, “Me too.”

“I don’t know what I would have done if...”, Sam’s voice broke. Alex freed her hands and wiped the brunette’s tears away: “Sam, look at me”, and she waited until amber locked with hazel until she continued, “I will not lie, this was a close call, but I am alive, and I don’t plan on going anywhere soon.”

Sam nodded, cried some more and then she was hugging Alex. The redhead tried to warp her arms around the woman’s shoulders without hurting herself and prayed that the heart monitor would not give her away. Hugging Sam felt like coming home after an extra shitty day, it was probably the best feeling in the last weeks and Alex wished she would never have to let go. She buried her nose in Sam’s neck and inhaled her warm, sweet scent. The moment ended way too soon, though, when a phone began to ring.

“This is Ruby, sorry,” Sam said, they untangled, and she left the room. While the CFO talked to her daughter, Alex tried to calm her raging heartbeat and turned the beeping heart monitor off. Couldn’t let that machine betray her. Then Sam was back and gave her an apologetic smile: “I’m sorry, I need to go.” Alex smiled back: “Yeah, go. Just leave the patient alone to die of boredom.”

Sam looked at her more serious, though: “Ruby really misses you”, she said, “She sends you get well wishes”, Alex said, “Thanks. Tell her we’re still on for _Shining.”_

But Sam didn’t laugh. Instead she laced their fingers and added: “I miss you too.” A lump formed in Alex’ throat that had nothing to do with her injury: “Me too”, she said not failing to notice the slightly red hue on Sam’s cheeks. Abruptly, the CFO got up and reached into her purse: “I have something for you, so you get well sooner”, then she handed Alex a single red lollipop. The redhead grinned: “Matches with my hair, sweet.” Sam rolled her eyes: “Please get well soon”, she said and before she left the room she kissed Alex lightly on the forehead. The DEO agent was happy that she had turned the heart monitor off. Her heart was beating so wild in her chest someone would have thought she had a heart attack.

* * *

 

Alex needed several weeks more to recover, and she was getting impatient to get back into field work. Kara came into the DEO with more and more scratches and scrapes and no one made any progress. Outside of the DEO things were looking equally grim because Sam’s blackouts became longer and longer, and she had had a huge fight with Lena about telling Ruby. By now they had reconciled but the atmosphere was still tense. During all that chaos they had barely time to see each other, and that was mostly with other people around or when they were together they were too exhausted to talk about anything too serious. This evening they had all hoped to get home early but when Alex and Kara rode the elevator down in tired silence, the blonde’s head suddenly jerked up: “What is it?” Alex asked when she saw her sister’s concerned face.

“It’s Lena. She’s in danger.” Kara answered distressed, already tearing at her clothes.

The redhead grabbed her arm: “Is it Reign?” her voice was laced with worry and panic.

Kara nodded, and Alex said: “Be careful, I’m going to be right behind you”, but Kara protested, “No! You can’t come! After what she did...”, but Alex interrupted her, “This is not up for discussion. Go!”

With one last worried look at the agent Supergirl broke through the elevator ceiling like it was made of tinfoil. Alex wasted no time, stepped out of the broken elevator and sped towards the stairs that led to the DEO’s parking lot. Once in her car she contacted Winn and J’onn via radio and they began to mobilize the rest of the DEO and the Legion. Alex dashed through the brightly lit streets of National City at light speed and prayed that no one was dead when she arrived. She knew she was panicking and she wished she could go hide under the nearest rock instead of facing the Worldkiller again. She was scared or rather full blown terrified, but she would never forgive herself if she let Kara handle this fight alone. In the distance she could see the L-Corp building and as if on cue something exploded on the roof. Her heart sank, and she gripped the steering wheel so hard her knuckles turned white. At least she knew where she must go. Once in front of L-Corp’s head office, Alex jumped out of the car before turning the engine off, ripped the splint from her wrist and instantly regretted it and got her favorite Kryptonite gun out of the trunk. As she sprinted towards the entrance Mon El and Imra hit the concrete beside her. “Shit,” Alex cursed and was torn between checking on the two heroes or entering the building but when Mon El groaned and Imra coughed she decided for the later.

“Winn!” she screamed in her earpiece, “Yes. Yes, we got them. Paramedics are on the way”, he answered.

When Alex entered the building, it shook slightly and rolling her eyes she ran towards the stairs. The first couple of floors were easy but then she began to feel the consequences of her injuries. Each breath was painful and at the twenty-fifth floor she was ready to puke. “Shit,” she cursed again and tried to keep her lunch down. When she finally left the forty-second floor behind her and neared the door leading to the roof she was sweating and shivering and barely could hold her gun at level. She was panting and had to lean her head against the cool concrete wall for a couple of seconds. This was great. Maybe she would pass out in an empty staircase on her first day back before she ever reached the scene. The roof-door was slightly ajar and bright white neon light blinded her. She didn’t want to face Reign again. Just the thought made her knees shake and her hands shiver more violently but then she remembered Ruby’s words. That Alex was the toughest person she knew. Time to live up to that statement. So, she swallowed her fear let out a short, hard breath and charged through the door.

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. She saw a burning helicopter dangling from the edge of the roof. She saw the hot white floodlights that illuminated the L-Corp sign above her and heard nothing but her own blood rushing in her ears. The first thing she truly registered, though, was Supergirl lying motionless on the ground with her head resting in Lena’s lap. The CEO switched between caressing Supergirl’s head and lowly whispering to her and screaming imprecations in Reign’s direction. Reign looked utterly pleased with herself and it made Alex sick: “Why are you doing this?” Lena screamed, “She wants to bring justice to people, just like you.”

The Worldkiller scoffed: “Supergirl does not bring the same kind of justice as I do.” Alex began to shake the second she heard Reign's distorted voice again but she pulled herself together and advanced further onto the roof: “She is in the way of my mission and I let that go on long enough”, Reign continued while pulling her arms back and leaning her torso slightly forward, “I will purge this sinner form the earth and then I will reign!”

Alex recognized that stance and before Reign could use her heat vision she fired three shots at her. Of course, they didn’t even scratch the villain, but it gave the agent enough time to put herself between Reign and Lena and Supergirl: “Not so fast you Queen in Spe.”

Reign gave her an angry irritated look: “I thought I killed you.” Alex shrugged: “You know what they say. Bad weeds grow tall”, and with that the agent fired another round of shots right in the triangle bearing the skull. Reign brushed the bullets away like they were dust specks and Alex gulped. The next second Reign had flung her into a steel scaffold and the redhead spit out blood when she picked herself up: “That's all you got?”

“You are really getting on my nerves, human”, Reign roared and advanced on her again. This time she grabbed her by the throat and slammed her into the scaffold, similar to what she did in Alex’ apartment. As the redhead was struggling to breathe again, pictures and memories were flooding her brain. How Reign had beaten her up mercilessly last time. How she had talked about a human being trapped inside her who battled against her. How Reign’s mask fell off. Alex’ eyes widened in shock as she remembered: “Sam”, she gasped.

“Sam it’s me. Alex.” she said hopefully, “I know you’re in there.”

“Stop talking to the human,” Reign commanded, “She cannot hear you.”

“Bullshit,” Alex grunted and tried again, “Sam you have to fight her. I know you can do it. You’re stronger than her.”

Tears were welling up in her eyes at the thought of how Sam must have felt, how guilty and lonely and scared. It broke her heart.

“Silence!” Reign ordered and smacked Alex on the floor. But through the ringing in her ears the redhead could hear the Worldkiller's voice falter. She knew she could get Sam back. And end this nightmare. She got up on unsteady legs again: “You are one of the strongest and toughest women I know,” Alex said, “All the things you managed in life, how far you’ve come, I know you can overcome this, too. I believe in you.”

Reign was cradling her head in her hands and writhed in agony. Hope fluttered in Alex’ chest. Hope that this might actually be working, and they would all survive this day: “Sam, please.”

But then Reign stared at her without any trace of humanity left in her eyes and her face was contorted by rage: “You need to learn when to stop talking.”

Then she punched Alex full in the face and crashed them both into a wall, which collapsed, and they ended up in a heap between pieces of concrete and debris in the stairway. Alex heard her nose crack and tasted blood in her mouth. Fear was pumping trough every cell of her body, but she would not give up. She could not. Maybe this was their one and final chance to get through to Sam. When Reign grabbed her by the collar of her shirt Alex lunged for her mask. And was able to fling it somewhere behind them.

“Sam you must come back, you hear me?” Alex said, smearing blood on her lips and stared hopefully at Reign. Seeing Reign without her mask felt like some new kind of torture: “We need you. All of us”, she continued and eventually she had the feeling that Reign’s eyes gleamed less intense, that her hold on her collar was less tight.

So, she kept talking: “You can’t leave Lena alone. One day she is going to buy Netflix or something for Kara and spends all of L-Corp’s money on it.” she smiled weakly, felt blood dripping on her chin and saw how sense was slowly seeping back into Sam: “And you remember that night in the alien club?” Alex asked tentatively.

God knew this was probably the worst time of all but the redhead thought before she was going to die she at least wanted to tell the woman she liked about her feelings: “I don’t know what this is between us, or even if you feel it too,” now she raised her hand and carefully placed it against Sam's check, “but I think you are an amazing woman and I...you don’t know how much you mean to me.”

Alex waited for a reaction with her heart doing somersaults and suddenly Sam blinked and the red glint in her eyes had vanished: “Alex?”

Alex let out a relieved sob: “Oh thank God!” she cupped Sam's face in her hands and pressed their foreheads together, “You’re back...you’re back”, she repeated over and over again.

“I remember”, Sam interrupted her and stared at her with huge fearful eyes, “I did all this,” she looked around, the horror etched deep into her features then she turned back to the redhead, “I did this to you”, she said and began to move away, “I hurt you so much.”

“No!” Alex disagreed and held onto her, “This was _her_ not you, ok? This is not your fault.” she put her arms around the shaking brunette and held her tight: “Everything is going to be ok. We’ll figure something out. It’s going to be ok.”

“I hurt so many people”, Sam sobbed into her shoulder. Alex gently stroked her hair and whispered sweet words of reassurement when unexpectedly a piece of concrete came loose from the ceiling and landed with a loud thud only a couple of feet away from them.

“Shit, we better get out of here,” Alex said and together they came back to their feet. They made their way towards the rooftop door when Sam stopped them: “Wait...I need to...”, and then she ripped the ribbons apart that held her tight ponytail together and wiped her hands over her face several times.

Alex gave her a wide smile and then grimaced because everything hurt. The next moment Sam was next to her and slid an arm around her: “Here let me”, she said and wiped some blood away from Alex' face with her suit, “I’m so sorry for the punch, for everything.”

Alex gave her another little smile: “It’s not. Your. Fault”, she said, “And I’m just so glad you’re back.” Sam gave her a shy nod and together they stepped through the ruins of the doorframe. The next second they looked down the barrels of a dozen guns pointed at them and J’onn shouted: “Alex are you all right? Get away from her!”

Panicked Alex put her hand up: “Don’t shoot! Put your guns down!”

But then she felt Sam stiffen next to her: “No, no, no, no, no”, Alex pleaded but when she turned around she already saw the red returning to Sam’s golden oaken eyes: “Aim!” J’onn commanded and Alex heard several safety catches click: “Don’t shoot! Don’t shoot!”, she screamed and grabbed Sam’s shoulders.

“Sam listen to me, listen to me. Don’t let her win.” she alternated between stroking Sam’s hair, her face or her shoulder and got more panicked by the second: “We love you...we love you all so much. Kara and Lena. Me and Ruby. Please, come back. Please.”

When she said Ruby’s name Sam jerked and Alex pressed on: “If they shoot you now, Ruby will be all alone. Didn’t you promise to protect her?”

“Ruby...”, Sam whispered and pressed a hand against her temple: “Yes, Ruby. Your daughter. I know you love her and you don’t want to hurt her.”

“No.” Sam shook her head scared and confused and Alex wanted nothing more than to make it all go away. But then someone lost control and fired a shot at them. It missed them both, but it was enough for Reign to take control again and charge into the direction of the DEO agents.

All hell broke loose. J’onn was screaming something, several shots were fired, and Reign looked ready to go on a murder spree. In the blink of an eye Alex made a decision. She grabbed Reign's face and crashed their lips together. At first it only hurt because of her split lip and Reign’s lips were cold and unresponsive and she just hoped that nobody accidently shot them. But then slowly, oh so slowly Sam began to kiss her back. She gently moved her lips against Alex’ and the agent felt a million colors explode behind her eyelids. She pressed a little harder against Sam and buried her hands in light brown locks. She didn’t mind the taste of blood on her tongue or the shot of pain when her nose bumped against Sam’s. She definitely had imagined their first kiss to be somewhere else, anywhere else but this feeling of Sam’s soft lips against her own, she wouldn’t want to miss it for anything in the world.

When they broke apart because it became hard to breathe, Alex realized that they had ended up on the floor with Sam held in her arms. The Worldkiller grinned up at her with a hazy smile and half-lidded eyes and Alex felt her whole face burning because she was smiling so wide: “I got you. I got you. Everything is alright.”

They embraced again, and Sam mumbled a stream of thank-yous against her neck, while Alex pressed light kisses against her hairline: “I got you”, she repeated.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Leave kudos if you liked it. They make me smile. :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Aftermath

* * *

 

Sam’s back hits the ground again for the fourth time in four minutes and this time she just stays down. She closes her eyes for a moment and wishes the world to be silent. But the blood is rushing too loud in her ears, her own breath sounds like a storm and the white noise in her head from all the conversations she does not want to hear is sickening. The clothes she is wearing are too tight and too rough on her skin and the ground beneath her feels sticky with sweat. Everything is too harsh and too intense and it’s too much. Her heart jolts uncontrollably in her chest and her breathing becomes shallow and hectic. She had not wanted these heightened senses, this strength or any of her other ‘superpowers’.

Reign had not resurfaced after the showdown on the L-Corp roof, but Sam can feel her lurking at the edges of her mind, how she crawls through the depths of her brain, hiding and waiting for the moment to control her again. She lets out a shaky breath. She can never let that happen again. The memories of what she did under Reign’s influence haunt her every night and if it were not for Ruby and Alex they would drive her insane.

“Are you ok there?” Kara’s voice, no Supergirl’s makes her jerk. Sam’s eyelids flutter open and she spots Kara a few feet away from her with a concerned expression. Sam does not know how to call her these days, Kara Danvers, Kara Zor-El, Supergirl? The information was so many, and Sam needs time to process it all. Kara is in her full superheroine costume and the sigil of house El displayed proudly on her chest. Sam remembers how she scorched it and dropped Kara from the edge of a fifteen-story building.

No. That was Reign, Sam chastises herself, that was not me.

“Is...she..?” Kara asks tentatively and looks caught between wanting to come nearer and bailing. Sam shakes her head and stands up: “No. It’s not _her”,_ she sighs and rubs her temples, “It’s just...how do you do this? I want to crawl out of my skin.”

Kara relaxes visibly and comes nearer: “When I first came to earth, it was overwhelming for me too.”

Overwhelming was the understatement of the year. The first morning she was allowed to spend home again she shattered her favorite cup, she left a considerable dent in the driver’s door of her Chrysler and tore more than one of Alex’ shirts to shreds.

“It’s just too much.” Sam sighs and Kara looks at her sympathetically: “It will get better. I promise.”

“Yeah? How?” Sam snaps irritated because Agent Schott does not stop to make finger gun noises in the DEO’s main office: “I’m sorry.”

“It’s ok,” Kara shrugs, “you must concentrate on something that relaxes you, something calming and leave out all the rest.”

Sam tries, tries to concentrate on the noises around her. The rhythmic beating of another hero training in the room next to them, the deep voice of DEO chef John Hankshaw warning Agent Schott to stop it with the finger guns already, a bird singing in a tree outside of the building and the wind rustling through the leaves. But it doesn’t work. She cannot focus on one sound long enough and then everything blends into a cacophony again and she winces.

“Kara, I’m too afraid to hug my own daughter. How should I ever learn this?” she asks exasperated. She is so scared of hurting Ruby that she hadn’t even been able to respond the hug when they saw each other the first time after the rooftop fiasco. After she had torn Alex’ third shirt she stopped touching her too even though she craved the contact. It’s warm and gentle and Sam wants to drown in it.

The heroine stares at her for a couple of seconds deep in thought: “I was just like you, Sam. I was scared and confused, and I thought I would only hurt everyone around me. But I managed, and I was just a kid,” then the blonde smiles reassuringly at her, “and you will, too.”

Sam nods weakly. “Maybe this will help you,” Kara continues, and the brunette looks at her hopefully, “When I was young and felt overwhelmed by everything Alex told me that I should listen to her heartbeat.”

The CFO feels her cheeks warming and she knows they must turn slightly red because Kara is miserable at hiding her grin, “It might help you, too. Try to find it.” Slightly embarrassed Sam closes her eyes and shifts through all the noises around her. It takes her some moments but then she thinks she has found it. She opens her eyes and due to her new x-ray vision, she sees Alex doing a medical check-up on a blonde woman in a tight black suit with an annoyed expression: “Did you find it?” Kara asks and Sam nods.

The redhead’s heartbeat is slow and steady, and she lets it fill her up, lets her own heart fall in tune with it and can feel it resonating in the tips of her fingers. She lets her shoulders drop, her head sink and it has been forever since she was really relaxed. Everything has been a blur to Sam and now may be the first time that she mulls over all that has transpired.

Alex had convinced everyone on the roof that Sam was not a thread anymore and then they all went to the DEO. Secret FBI building my ass, Sam thinks. Lena only had had eyes for Supergirl lying numb on a stretcher and Sam was too preoccupied with crying into Alex’ shoulder to talk to her. When two DEO agents tried to pry Lena away from the unconsciousness superheroine she screamed bloody murder and told them that she knew that it was Kara anyways in that suit and that pretty much shut everybody up. At the revelation Sam had choked on her tears and momentarily forgot that she was a psychopathic killer. In the DEO Kara had been wheeled away and Lena had not left her side. Alex had collapsed in the hospital ward and Sam had not left her side either and had insisted that whatever test the DEO wanted to with her they had to do it right there.

In that night she had woken up in a separate bed next to Alex’ screaming and trashing and crying because in her nightmare she had killed first Supergirl, then Alex and then Ruby. Since then she constantly had nightmares that were a mix of flashbacks of what she did as Reign or horrible scenarios in which she hurt the people she cared about the most. In the following days she told Alex, Kara and the rest what she remembered of her origin, what the hologram in the Fortress of Sanctuary had told her: that she was a bioengineered weapon from Krypton, a “Worldkiller”, a monster.

At the word _Krypton_ Kara had cracked the metal table in two she had leaned against and Alex had argued with her that she should put the idea of being a monster right out of her mind. Then she had spent two full days with Ruby and together with Alex she had tried to explain everything to her daughter. When Ruby received the news that her mother was an alien she went mental. In a positive way. Much to Sam’s shock.

The pre-teen jumped up from the couch and threw her arms around her mother: “I knew you it! You are special, mom! Now you can become like Supergirl!”

Sam had to dash Ruby’s expectations and Alex explained to her that they still needed to find out what exactly was going on with Sam and how she could keep her evil alter-ego in check. Then Ruby lost it a second time and asked if she was an alien, too. Sam and Alex had shared a worried glance. They had not thought about it. That had to be checked. Sam remembers how supportive Alex was during that time and her heart clenches. In the middle of chaos, she is a calm anchor and Sam is thankful every second for her presence. Right now, her whole body vibrates with the agent’s heartbeat and it makes her feel safe in a way she hasn’t felt in years. Things are finally looking better, and she lets out a long, relieved breath. “Works well, right?” Kara asks.

“Yeah”, Sam nods with a small smile. “So, about that right hook of yours,” the blonde gets back to their training.

Although Sam had refused to become any kind of superheroine for the time being, she agreed to some basic training sessions with Kara. In case Supergirl ever needs help, Sam wants to be able to provide it. Before that is possible, though, she needs to learn how to control her new abilities and how to throw a punch or two.

“Now, I want you to still concentrate on Alex”, Kara gets into position, feet spread shoulder wide and arms raised in front of her chest. Sam mirrors her, tenses her thighs, her stomach, her upper arms. She clears her thoughts, empties her head until the rhythmic, endless beating consumes her completely.

She hears Kara’s next words from far away: “Try not to get hit and land at least one punch.” Sam nods. She’s been lying on her back too long and too often today. Ruby always tells her she’s a fighter and she knows, she can do this. The blonde dances in front of her, lightly, keeps her arms up, her eyes roaming over Sam’s body. Kara said most people give themselves away before they attack because their gaze rests too long on your left eyebrow, because they turn their whole body when they lung or because their feet stop moving. The heroine knows how to move in a fight, she had a good teacher and Sam only waits, waits for that one, little sign that will betray her.

And there it is. In a split-second Kara pushes her left foot forward and draws her right arm back and to Sam it looks like a movement under water. When Kara’s fist rushes towards her Sam lets herself drop a little to the right exactly when the first thump of Alex’ heartbeat rings loud and clear in her head like a bell. At the second thump Sam’s right arm springs forward, her thumb safely tucked under the knuckles of her fingers and her fist collides with Kara’s nose.

There’s a loud yelp, someone curses and suddenly Alex bursts into the room looking alarmed: “What happened? Is someone hurt?”

Kara grunts and wipes blood from her nose: “Only my pride.”

Sam has her hands clasped in front of her face, her eyes wide with surprise and guilt, memories rising in her mind of the last time she had blood on her hands: “Kara, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean...” but the blonde interrupts her, “That was not bad I give you that. And you were supposed to hit me so don’t worry.”

But the brunette’s stomach cramps at the blood scent and she can almost taste it, sticky and coppery.

“Maybe you should take a little sunbath.” Alex suggests as she inspects her sister’s nose. “Yeah”, Kara agrees and reminds Sam to be back the same time tomorrow before she leaves the training room. But Sam doesn’t hear her, hears only white noise and stares blankly at her right hand. Guilt is clawing at her insides like a ferocious beast and she wonders how long it will take until it has swallowed her. The red blotches on her knuckles seem to grow, become larger and larger and cover her whole hand when Alex slides her fingers gently across her palm. Her eyes snap upwards and Alex looks at her like she did so many times during the past days. Her brows are slightly furrowed, and her expression is serious, but her eyes are gentle and full of compassion and reassurance.

A lump forms in Sam’s throat because she does not deserve so much care, such softness. The redhead curls her fingers around the brunette's wrist and gently tugs her towards the changing room where Sam left her work clothes and that has several showers and sinks. Alex opens one tab and holds Sam’s hand under the lukewarm water. Kara’s blood tinges it pink. “There,” the DEO agent says warmly and dabs her hand dry, “all cleaned up.”

Instead of retreating, Sam intertwines their hands and rests her head on Alex’ shoulder. Alex presses her chin against the top of her head and Sam basks in her presence, in the calm. They have not yet talked about what they are now, about their attraction, the night in the alien club, their kiss. Or the fact that Sam almost killed her. But the brunette had not felt this drawn to someone in a very long time and no matter how scared she is of hurting her Sam feels nowhere safer than in Alex’ arms be it on her couch after Ruby fell asleep or in the middle of the night in her bed when she was shaking and crying. Alex stroked her back, drew loose patterns on her flushed skin and whispered: “I’m here. I’m not letting you go through this alone. I promise.”

“I want to go home”, Sam says now and the other woman nods, “Ok.”

They entangle but Sam does not let go of Alex’ hand: “Do you want to come with me?” She does not ask only because the redhead is one of two people that keep her grounded but also because she wants to spend time with her. Real time that does not revolve around _her_ , or work, or really anything than the two of them. Alex looks at her a little nervous, gives her a coy half-smile and says: “I’d love to.”

Every time Sam is mesmerized when she sees this side of the tough DEO agent, this sweetness, this vulnerability and it tugs at her heart. She feels privileged in a way money never makes her feel. Eventually, Sam does let go to take a quick shower. Alex waits politely in the changing room. She is still red in the face when Sam comes back, a towel wrapped around her that does not reach her knees. Nervously, the agent plays with the simple watch around her wrist and intently tries not to stare at her. It is sweet, but Sam sees the longing and desire swimming in these hazel pools and it makes her feel hot to know this gaze is directed at her. When she is dressed she steps closer to where Alex sits patiently on a bench, reaches out for her, fills the space between the redhead’s legs.

Sam curls her long fingers around Alex’ jaw and nudges her head upwards while she dips low. The kiss is soft and sweet at first, not more than a light pressure against her lips. But beneath the surface Sam can feel the simmering need for more. A need she’s been feeling for weeks whenever she was around the DEO agent. And now it bubbles up when their mouths fall open and their breaths become faster, when Alex snakes her arms around Sam’s waist and pushes their bodies flush together, when Sam moans the moment her tongue meets Alex’. But then Sam springs away from the redhead’s grip, her back hits a locker and she’s panting: “Slow. Remember?” Alex’ cheeks are flushed, and her lips swollen.

She looks a tad bit embarrassed, a tad bit cheeky and is grinning from ear to ear: “I know”, she raises her hands, her palms turned to Sam in a gesture of appeasement, “I know. We are not going to rush. We are taking things slow.”

The way she says it makes it sound like a joke and Sam has to grin, too. They are bad at this. When they make their way out of the DEO their fingers are loosely intertwined again. John Hankshaw is the only one who casts a dark look in their direction. Sam doesn’t blame him though, he wants to protect his people and she is a ticking bomb. Right before they reach the elevator they pass a small lab with glass walls and spot Lena and Agent Schott arguing. On a high-tech tailor’s dummy behind them sits a half-finished superhero suit and Sam has the uneasy feeling that it’s for her. It looks a lot like the suit Reign wore, a lot of dark cloth, knee-high boots but the cape is gone and the shoulder pads too. The chest is empty, the sigil of the Worldkiller’s has been removed but still the sight makes her shiver. Lena and the young agent stopped arguing and Alex asks: “Do you want to take a look?”

Sam shakes her head. She does not want to be a hero, not yet and maybe never and she cannot have that discussion again today: “Take me home”, she says instead.

At home Ruby is already waiting for them and does not even ask anymore why Alex eats dinner with them again. Right now, the three of them are curled up on the couch while _American Hustle_ runs in the background. Ruby developed a special interest for everything even remotely FBI related in the last two weeks and Sam thinks it’s adorable, although she never lets her daughter watch any of the movies. However, Ruby has fallen asleep and she is too cozy in her little spot between Alex and Ruby to care much about the movie. Alex put an arm on the back of the couch and Sam has gradually sunken into the open space at her side during the movie. Her head rests on the redhead's collarbone and Alex’ finger trace random patterns on her bare shoulder. Sam feels drowsy because she is exhausted from her day at the DEO and because she is surrounded by so much love. She closes her eyes and thinks with a soft smile playing on her face that they will figure out everything else tomorrow.

 

**Author's Note:**

> If you liked it you can leave kudos. They make me happy :)


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